Friday, June 27, 2008

Birth Mother

I have often thought...okay...more than often thought...of trying to find my "birth mother." (Please forgive me if that term offends you. I have read that the real label needs to be "breeder." Of course, I disagree.)

As I am coming upon my birthday (July 16), my thoughts are with my birth mother. My birthday is always painful. Does she remember? Does she think about me? Does she care? Why hasn't she reached out to me? Why was I a throw-away child/person? How could that be?

I would love to find my birth mother...and only for one reason. I want to look her in the eyes and say to her, "I understand. If you ever needed to feel forgiven, you need not feel that way. I do understand."

You see, my "birth father" ( the case it makes sense) was an evil man. If he treated her as he treated me, I would have fled, also. As a matter of fact, I her age. I had planned to find a way out since I was nine years old. Finally, at 16, I though I was old enough that people would believe me when I told them what he was doing to me.

Maybe I WAS her in his mind. When I was a child I thought that I must look like my mother. I must remind him of her. He must see her in me. What other explanation would suffice for abusing your baby girl?

I am sure there are many explanations. And right now, it just doesn't matter.

My birth mother simply needs to know that I am okay. And...I do understand.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Foster Care

Some of you may know that I grew up in and out of the foster system. The state of Illinois was my parent...nice.

I have been asked to be included in a national Public Service Announcement, a sequel to this one:

Also, I am writing another book that will be from a foster kid to foster kids. We really are trying to get away from using the term "foster kid," but "foster youth" feels like My Cousin Vinny!

Stay tuned and jump in if you like!


Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Tim Russert

It has been a weekend of mourning for me, as most of you don't know that I am a political junkie. I have been talking to Tim Russert every morning for over a decade.

His sudden and unexpected passing have caused me to pause to take stock. Am I using every day of my life in a way that gives or offers help to others? Am I ENJOYING every day as the gift of the present?

Will my children pass along the lessons and appreciations I have offered them. What will my legacy be?

Tim's passing inspires me even more to do what I do best--inspire others.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

New Book--Just published

I love creating, writing and publishing. I just tried a new publishing service called and used my latest adventure--a week in Swizterland--as a guinea pig for creating legacies in book form for others.

You can take a peek at my book here:

You can learn more about my helping you create YOUR legacies by going to: I am currently working on

Monday, June 9, 2008

New Blog


I had to create this new blog because I have not been consistent enough in my old one. I forgot how to use it, dumped my old email address, etc.

Once--of if--someone from Blogger gets back to me, I will go back to "Paris Matters." But for now, we have "Paris Musings."

I will post regularly, so enjoy the musings. Always feel free to comment or write to me!