I was talking to a girlfriend the other day, and she was lamenting about how, at 42, she has not found the "perfect" mate.
Wow...what a tall order....to find someone "perfect." And what pressure that puts on oneself. For if I expect my mate to be perfect, I must have to be.
One of the things that makes a relationship truly work is ACCEPTANCE. Yes, you need to know what your values, needs and wants are in order to attract a compatible partner. But to expect that your partner fits ALL of your values, needs and wants is unrealistic.
If you run through potential mates like you change your hair style, you will never get to the real issue: YOU. The only way you can understand YOU is to be with another imperfect person. Because when you are without a partner, you don't need to reflect...and then....of course you are perfect.