Wednesday, December 16, 2009

~~Life is Not an Oprah Show~~

Life is not an Oprah Show.  And not every reunion is tear-jerking, heart-freeing episode.

Some people don't want to be found.  Some people want to move forward and never look back.  Some people start new lives and do not share their former lives with the new people in their new life.

I often thought, "What if my mother just wants to forget her awful stint with my father? What if she just ran away?"  He is a beast.  I know that. I barely survived with him. I would never blame her if she had run away.  I did, too!

Then I thought, "What if she has a new life with a new person?  What if she never told him about her previous life?"  I would never want to interject myself into someone's life that could create terrible disruption and perhaps destruction.

I always said, "The only reason I would ever really want to find my birth mother would be to tell her that I don't blame her for running from him.  I want her to know that I forgive her for abandoning me. After all, she was just a child."

I want my mother to know that she gave birth to a compassionate soul. 

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