Friday, December 31, 2010

~~Arizona, the Wild, Wild West~~ (part one)

Arizona creates so many "bucket list" opportunities.  I think the only thing it doesn't have to offer is ocean front property (just ask George Strait about that).  

Tombstone, founded in 1877 by prospector Ed Schieffelin, who staying at what was then called Camp Huachuca (wa-chu-ka) as part of a scouting expedition against the Chiricahua (chir-i-cow-uh) Apaches.   During his time there he ventured out into the wilderness "looking for rocks,"  ignoring the warnings he received from the soldiers at the camp.   They told him, "Ed, the only stone you will find out there will be your tombstone".   Well, Ed did find his stone. And it was Silver.  So, remembering the words of warning from the soldiers, he named his first mine The Tombstone.


~~Thoughts on the Final Day of 2010~~

If you follow this blog, you know that 2010 has been one of the most challenging years of my life.  I've discovered things that I never knew about my past....and there are still more questions than answers.

Yet, on this last day of the year, I truly have closed the door...and am staring at an open window.  I feel optimistic and quietly excited about the future.  

~~Thank you, friends, for your loving support~~

I am grateful that all the negativity of the past has passed.  The best is left for me.  Now is the time to focus on building the life I want...not the life that was handed to me....

~~I choose to surround myself with those who love me and those I love
...and you know who you are~~ 

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

~~Closing the Door....and Opening the Window~~

On this day, December 28, 2010,  I write this...and this shall and forever be my final missive regarding the person that helped me become the "Phunny" that I am.  (Sometimes, I am grateful, indeed....)

Below is the final words written/spoken about him.  And here I will correct the many "omissions."  And yes...lying by omission is lying.

John Parisotto (1943 - 2010)

John Parisotto, 67, of Belleville, Ill., born May 16, 1943, in Springfield, Ill., died Saturday, Dec. 18, 2010, at his home in Belleville, Ill.

He was preceded in death by his wife of 40 years, Ruth, Marie Boll, Parisotto, who passed away April 11, 2006; and a grandchild, Amanda Leigh Parisotto.

Surviving are his son, Americo "Ric" (Diane) Parisotto of Belleville, Ill.; daughter, Martha "Mimi" Parisotto; grandchild, Amy Marie Parisotto; four step grandchildren, Heather, Matthew, Amanda and Nicole McNeeley; and five step great-grandchildren.

Special thanks to the PSOP Senior Councilor for all her support she has given him since his wife's death and being there in his time of need, a very special thanks to Hospice of Southern Illinois for all they have done for the family.

Funeral: John served proudly in U.S. Navy. Burial with full military rites will be held at 10:30 a.m. on Tuesday, Dec. 21, 2010, at Jefferson Barracks National Cemetery in St. Louis, Mo.
The corrections.....
~~ No mention of my mother...that never was. 

~~ Ric and John have been estranged for years.  (Before John got sick and they moved in.)

~~ I have not spoken to these "people" in 30 years, and all parental rights were terminated by the state of Illinois, so I am NOT his daughter.

~~ Amy was adopted out as a baby.  Her name has been changed, so she is not the grand-daughter.

~~ Oh...and phinally...all four of the grandchildren mentioned were taken away and put into foster care!!

I sense some bitterness in this tome and release it now.....  

~~The worst has passed; the best is left~~


Thursday, December 16, 2010

~~The Final Guantlet~~

John Wayne Parisotto will be dead soon...probably within days.  I have a current picture of him, but won't post it, as it will only stir negative emotions for anyone viewing.

Someone was able to snap this picture of me when I was 17.  John keeps it hung above the recliner in which he lives...and in which he shall die.

....thru torture to triumph....

Monday, December 6, 2010


I went to the Tempe Arts Festival this year.  I was already annoyed that the town CHARGES to park and was gifting parking tickets to PATRONS. 'Tis the season. 

So...I parked a mile away.  I was walking to the festivities and observed someone "talking" someone into a basic parking space.  "A little to the back a little....back a little more... now over just a bit....Good job!"  That just pissed me off. 

I know about stereotypes.  Stereotypes are stereotypes because they are TRUE.

Therefore, I said out loud, "If that is a woman driving, I am going to punch her in the phucking face!"

...........................................................................................sho' nuff.....

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

~~The Day After~~

Today is the day after I published the book I've been trying to write nearly all of my life. I feel sick. 

Maybe it is the purging.  Maybe it is the fear that my story is really "out there." Maybe it is the lack of control, like when you let the proverbial cat out of the bag. Maybe it is the anxiety of not knowing what, if anything, will happen in my life as a result of publishing "Phunny."

I don't know...

Thursday, November 11, 2010


Well, mark this day, as this is finally the day that I finished writing the book about my life.  I have not published it, and the thought of "pulling the trigger" is causing me to have an anxiety attack of grand proportions. Once I pull the trigger, everything is "out there."  As one of my best friends says, "You can't un-fuck a fuck."

I am shaking uncontrollably.  I even ate a bowl of spicy chili, thinking that it would help me stop the shaking.  It didn't. Thank GOD for leftover xanax, phor phuck's sake.

I have been wanting...and others have been prodding write this for many, many years.  I finally was able to right the tragedy of my life in a shroud...of humor.  Thank GOD for humor, phor phuck's sake.  It is the REAL saving grace in life.


Thursday, November 4, 2010

~~Orange Sky in Arizona~~

A new restaurant opened in the Phoenix area, "Orange Sky," at Talking Stick Casino. 

The restaurant/lounge, located on the 15th floor of the new resort, boasts a 360 degree panoramic look of the Valley and Fountain Hills. Stunning, never-to-be-seen-again views are indescribably breathtaking.

I reserved a private "viewing booth" at just the right time of day during this time of year, 5:30.

Ketel 1 martini, a little me.
Notice Camelback Mountain just as the sun is about to set, thus "Orange Sky."
The food was outstanding!  And yet, it paled in comparison to the EXPERIENCE.

Speaking of experience, it was clear that we overstayed our welcome, when, over my right shoulder I overheard someone say, "It's about time....(they leave)."

Beautiful legs...'s not, of course, I said something.  The manager came over and OFFERED a nice, very nice wine for desert.

~~Phabulous Experience~~


Monday, October 11, 2010

~~Fall in Flag~~

Nothing signals the Fall season better than golden aspens in the high country.  

Timing of the elements is key to seeing aspens in the peak of their glory. For the best look, you need to get to the high country 7-10 days after the first freeze of the season...and that is IF there is no storm in between to knock the leaves away.

Flagstaff's Snowbowl ( keeps its ski lift open all year, so visitors can enjoy the views. 

The Snowbowl got its first freeze and snow about a week ago, so timing was "almost" right.

The aspens in the pines peeked out with blue skies and bright new snow in the background.

....Enjoying  a "cold" cocktail....

These aspens are just turning.  In a few days, the leaves will burst like pots of gold, blanketing the mountains with color!

Heading back toward the Valley, we stop at Slide Rock Park.  

~~The world traveling Tater~~

~~Arizona Rim Country~~

A couple of weeks ago, we traveled to the north pole of Arizona, Page and Lake Powell. I had no clue what to expect, and since happiness is often a matter of expectation management, I didn't expect much.

And just when you least expect, life's surprises occur.  

Lake Powell, built in 1972 at Glen Canyon, defies the word "beauty."  Take the drive up a long incline...and just as you arrive at the crest....

The Glen Canyon Dam rose out of the Colorado River in 1963.  See Powell on one side of the dam and the river on the other side.

In the evening, we cruised around in the "Canyon Princess."  (I suppose that makes me the "Canyon Queen.")

Next, we're off to the North Rim of the Grand Canyon.  I've never been to the North Rim; like most people, I've only experienced the South Rim.

The drive there takes you through lovely cuts in the rock and desert valleys.

...and through herds of....

...vast meadows of aspens...
...and BUFFALO!!!!

The Grand Canyon Lodge...front and back...

And in the morning....Bright Angel Fault...

Finally.... Buffalo Burgers and Beer at the Buffalo Grill!

So there.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010


Well, Mr. "The Rules Don't Apply to Me" got us in another pickle over the weekend.

He says, "Look at my MAP!  It is a very large and fine MAP!"  Hmmm...there is a little bitty road that will take us straight over the San Francisco Mountains.  And my other book with all the back roads says that this is an easy little road.  Want to?"

What am I supposed to say?  So, we go.

We find the little road just off A89 toward Flagstaff.  Crap!  The road is closed due to severe threat of fire.  

Mr. "TRDAtM" says, "No prob! That's what four-wheel drives are for!" as he wheels over the rocks and around the barricade.

" what happens if we get caught?"  "Don't worry. We won't get caught. No one works on Sundays."

"Where are we? And where is the road?!" he asks ME.  "What the PH!" I am thinking, but not saying.

So, I get out my iPhone and press the "Maps" function. "We aren't even near the road."  "Which way are we going?" he asks, so I show him the gps.  "That is ridiculous." 

"Well, if you know so much, why are we here in the middle of no where and there is no phucking road?!"

We turn around...and find the road. (Actually, I saw it before, but he knew which way to go. Hmmmm......)

Okay...this isn't a bad little road.  We smelled a combination of pine and char, as a recent fire ravaged the forest.  

We bumped along for MILES up hills, down through dry creek beds and through the trees and wild flowers.  I noticed the yin and yang of death of the trees and life of the flowers.

Okay...this "little" trip was getting long....when we came to the end of the road.  

Rut Roh!!

Notice the BOULDERS on either side of the BARRICADE

They were serious about not wanting anyone on this road.  We were stuck.  Another fine mess we are in!   

Notice the $5000 fine!

After a half an hour of trying to figure out how to get out of here, Mr. "TRDAtM" yells, "Let's go!  You drive, and I'll guide us out of here!"  "Hurry!  Before we get caught." 


(I thought no one works on Sundays?)

Thursday, September 2, 2010

~~Monsoon Damage~~


[mahy-kruh-burst] Show IPA
–noun Meteorology .
an intense, localized downdraft of air that spreads on the ground, causing rapid changes in wind direction and speed; a localized downburst.
Here is the aftermath of the microburst that hit the neighborhood last Saturday. CRAZY!

This is a lizard. 

~~Spying Eyes~~

Kitty Kat spying on little peckers

Monday, August 23, 2010

~~Crown King, AZ~~

I am usually up for new adventures, so of course, I say, "Sure."  Here was the idea: spend the day traveling up the back roads to Crown King ( I LOVE Crown King, so sounds like fun. 

Have maps; have supplies (wine); have "Arizona Backroads"; have Tater.  Okay...on the road by 7a. 

I need to change the name of someone to protect the guilty.  Okay...let's name him,  "Goober."  So...first off, Goober gets all mad because we get into traffic work backups... Let the Turret's Syndrome begin....and it's still early.  I say, "Have a little patience."  "I have no patience."  Lord, it is STILL early.

We get off the highway...onto the "backroads."  (I learned to do my OWN research after this!)

The road was "built" over 125 years ago...and is only maintained by hard-core off-roaders.  (I'm not one.)

Over 30 miles of white knuckles, moving cry and lots of screaming. Not for the faint of heart...and not for me!  Goober was sweating bullets...not because it was so treacherous, but for fear of death by spouse.

You know you are hillbilly land when you have beg people not to shoot you.

Upon PERSONAL review of the description of this backroad in "Guide to Arizona Backroads," I read the following, "Most trails require vehicle modification. Lifts, differential lockers, aggressive articulations, and winches recommended. Body damage likely."  (WHAT THE PHUCK ARE WE DOING IN THIS PHINE MESS, GOOBER?)

If you look closely, you will see the Jeep's own body damage; the running board was broken off. My body damage included lots of bruising.  Goober sustained no injuries...yet.

Yes!  It is time for a cocktail....or 10!  (Phor Phuck's Sake!)

 Whiskey for my men!  Beer for my!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010