Friday, January 18, 2013

~~Creativity--Air Plants~~

Last, year I bought some lovely finishing salts from a cute little boutique in St. Louis. After using the salts for over a year, the tiny glass containers began to empty.

The containers are so charming that I couldn't just discard them in the pink bin (recycle). Once again comes the question, "How can I re-use these?"

Viola! I've always been interested at trying my thumbs at air plants. They require no soil and can thrive in temperatures between 50- 100 degrees. They bloom one time in their life cycle and grow little babies, called "pups."

Bought these babies for a song at Amazon. From left to right: Rubra, Peanut, Guatemalin, Duridii, and Mexican

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

~~Avoid Make Wrongs~~

Effective communicators, in every aspect of life, understand that keeping communication open and flowing is absolutely critical to enjoying healthy relationships! Several phrases in our language "freeze" communication flow. In this writing, the reason doesn't matter; the fact does.

Avoid the following "make wrongs," to keep your communication flowing more easily. Avoid: "Shoulda, woulda, coulda's and why's!"

Take the time and mild effort to ice these phrases out of the your vocabulary to avoid freezing relationships!

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

~~Stop Shoulding on People!~~

Effective communicators understand that when people feel defensive, rightly or wrongly so, all hope of mutual understanding ceases to exist. There are a few words and phrases that are "make wrongs" which automatically cause the listener to put up the defensive, rendering all next communication mute.

One of these "make wrongs" is the word "should." When you say "should" to someone, you are making them wrong about what to do or how to feel. Or you are telling them they are wrong for how they handled something. That never works.

So, stop "shoulding"--on yourself and on others!

Sunday, January 13, 2013

~~Give It Away~~

Often, people tell me to "protect" my processes. I don't know about that. I find that the more I give away, the more exposure I get for my talents. More exposure you get for your talents will open doors that you never thought possible or probable.

Giving it away allows others to create joy that they otherwise wouldn't experience. Believe me, they remember the gifts! Your gifts do come back to you ten-fold.

So...give it away!

Monday, January 7, 2013

~~Be Interesting~~

Often, effectiveness in life is a game of opposites. To achieve your intended outcome, you actually have to do the counter-intuitive.

I've helped hundreds prepare for job interviews, and the number one coaching clue I give is this, "Be interesting by being interested!" People focus way too much on themselves, erroneously believing that is the key making others interested in them. Quite the opposite! Focus on the other person, their needs, their wants, their goals--them!

To be interesting, be interested!

Saturday, January 5, 2013

~~On Being Right~~

If you really want to add more lightness, fun and pleasure in your relationships, ditch the need to be right. Being right is a heavy burden, because you have a constant need to defend your "rightness."

What is so grand about being right? Absolutely nothing. Being right is highly unattractive and repels others that just want to explore, learn and "be."

If others around you need to be right, let them. Who cares but them? It's a load that they carry, is unattractive and boring.

Being right is highly over-rated. Learning is so much more attractive!

So...I invite people that "know" to tell me what these beauties are. I just "know" they have one thing in common. They are amazing!

Friday, January 4, 2013

~~Expectation Management~~

Avoid attaching yourself to the outcome of any situation. If you hold on too tightly to what you WANT, you are more likely to set yourself for massive disappointment.

Of course, you would like your outcome to be the outcome (you want your team to win), but if you are so invested in your desires, you allow little room to experience the bigger experience.

If you attach your "happiness" to the expectation of something going your way, look out!

Happiness is often about expectation management!

Thursday, January 3, 2013

~~Simply Creative~~

Living simply can be so elegant and freeing. Being overrun by the trappings of life (yes, trappings) can leave you feeling tired for seemingly "no reason."

Instead of "needing" more, how can you use what you already have...just in a different way?

For example, after enjoying a lovely meal with a simple wine, I kept the cork and use it as a whimsical garden marker. Instead of being a forgotten meal and a piece of trash, it becomes an energy giver, as every time I look at it, I get a natural shot of endorphin.

Always ask yourself, before you pitch it, "How can I use this again in a new way?"

"How can I be simply creative?"

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

~~The Power of Intent~~

Paris Photo Short
January 2, 2012

The Power of Intention

I often talk about the power of observation, arguably the most powerful key to human effectiveness.

Another underestimated key to human effectiveness lies in the phenomenon of intention. Intention--and the perception of intention--can lead to the deepest sorrows, cruelest conflicts...and even to the deadliest of wars among humankind. Conversely, intention--and the perception of intention--can lead to the greatest love, devotion, trust and community.

For example, if I believe that you have mal intent, I am more likely to act negatively toward you...only based on my perception of your intent. Arguments, fights and wars can be caused by the perception of mal intent.

However, if I believe that you have good intent, I am more likely than ever to forgive even the greatest mis-steps, because my perception of your intent is that you 'meant' well.

What if others truly have mal intent? Some do. But what is even more powerful to your effectivesness is to believe others' good intentions. Their intent is theirs to own.

The only thing you can control is your perception of intention. Regarless of the actual intention of the other matters not. YOU will be happier when you assume the best intentions!

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Can't Make the Good Stuff Up!

Can't Make the Good Stuff Up

Living in Arizona lends itself to surprises at just about every turn. Last week, I came eye to eye, literally, with a coyote that must have been lost in the neighborhood. (Or hunting in it!) Several months ago, a pair of bobcats said, "Caio, Baby," as I walked Tater near the reservation. All kinds of birds and other critters keep good company.

And then there are so many other characters about. Normally, I do not hang out in Scottsdale, because the gals are hunting for old money; the guys are hunting for new meat. Oops. Did I just say that? Yes, because it is what it is. So there.

However, if one wonders just a little north of "Snottsdale," and look to your right, you'll see a gun-toting, ten-gallon-hat wearing, one-eyed desert outfitter. In my childlike nature, I waved widely at him, and he returned the wave with another and a wild smile! He sure didn't seem to mind the attention or the camera!

Keen observation reveals the best life offers!