Friday, June 19, 2015

~~Observation~~

~~Okay, big share here...and if you care, it is important. 

After seeing this picture I took, a friend told me that I am amazing. Whilst that was meant to be a huge compliment (and it IS), I'd like to help you understand where my "gift" of observation began. 


My keenest gift is not communication...it is observation...in every waking...and non-waking moment, as I do not sleep much. 


One of my many counsellors that tried to help me recover from the years of torture and abuse at my father's doing, told me to make every bad thing he made me suffer through a gift. 


"Somehow, to endure, you must make what he did to you a gift to you."


So, after much, "That's bullshit!", I tried the exercise.


Well, as I look back, my "gift" of observation came from having to watch my father's every move, every eye twitch, every voice inflection, every hint at what might be coming...


My "gift" from him helped me anticipate the danger I may soon be facing. Anticipation gave me time to strategize (another gift) options I could take before "it" came down.


I learned to mitigate...not eliminate...my peril.


Thank you, Father, for your "gift" of observation. It serves me well.



Happy Father's Day~~

1 comment:

Jon said...

I heartily applaud you for being able to utilize what the counselor suggested. It took courage and insight (only someone who has gone through a similar situation can understand)

For years, I harbored the intense hate that I had for my father and I internalized it. This only served to perpetuate my own self-destruction. It took me one helluva long time to finally let go of the past and begin to like myself. I suppose he gave me the "gift" of learning how to survive.

Just for the record - I finally left Texas and am presently dwelling in the peaceful mountain wilderness of Tennessee.

Take care.